4 Ways to Deepen Your Emotional Intimacy and Connection
Intimacy plays a major role in any relationship. Contrary to popular belief, this is not just about sex. Intimacy is a complex concept. It can involve parts of your connection like how you share ideas and experiences and how you feel spirituality. One of the most crucial ways intimacy is expressed is through your emotional connection.
All versions of intimacy require your attention and your teamwork. A deeply bonded couple is one that connects on multiple levels. In this post, I’ll focus on emotional intimacy — what it is and how to enhance it. But let’s begin with a brief overview of other forms of intimacy.
4 Ways to Experience and Express Intimacy
1. Sex
Your sex life is evolving and important to you. You respect each other’s needs and are willing to sometimes step out of your comfort zone. The excitement and the thrill remain.
2. Shared Experiences
It could be as simple as reading the same book. It could be as adventurous as traveling abroad together. The point here is that you go through new experiences together. You also create new memories together.
3. Spirituality
This may or may not involve some kind of religion. Spirituality is in the eye of the beholder. You might find the sacred in anything from a sunset to a delicious meal you cooked together.
4. Intellect
As a couple, you share ideas. You’re willing to disagree and debate. Opinions and beliefs are validated and honored. There is positive energy coursing through your conversations.
Focus: Emotional Intimacy
All of the above — and more -helps to create emotional intimacy. It is a palpable sense of closeness. You feel heard and safe and accepted and known. When together, you feel secure. When apart, you feel comfortable in your independence. You have inside jokes, shared routines, and playful nicknames. Sitting in silence can feel just as good as having a deep discussion. There’s confidence that you can effectively work through problems.
4 Ways To Deepen Your Emotional Intimacy and Connection
1. Share
Build trust by showing more of yourself. Make your partner the first one you contact when you have news of any kind. Let them see your vulnerable side, your silly side, and everything in between. You can celebrate with your partner, grieve with them, and express fears and doubts.
2. Improve Your Listening Skills
Any kind of intimacy is compromised without quality listening. This means no interruptions or distractions (power down your devices, if necessary). It also involves paying attention to verbal, visual, and physical cues.
3. Learn How to Apologize
Everyone screws up at times. A big part of emotional intelligence and intimacy is taking responsibility. This means offering an authentic apology, e.g.
4. Embrace the Process
There is no finish line. Circumstances are ever-changing and thus, you will be asked to grow along with them. Be patient and enjoy the journey. There will be obstacles and bumps in the road but neither of you will ever regret putting in the time and effort.
Emotional Intimacy Makes You Comfortable With Asking For Help
Every couple argues and fights. Rough patches are inevitable. What matters in times like that is your commitment to resolve and learn. As you work to deepen your emotional intimacy, it can be quite valuable to work with an unbiased, experienced guide. Therapy — as a couple or individually — can be your safe space for such work.
If you reside in California, you can learn about my unique approach to couples therapy at https://www.therapywithshirani.com/.
If you do not reside in California, you can seek a couples therapist in your area, or sign up for my weekly newsletter where I share tips and insights on how to experience authentic connection, authentic communication, and authentic relationships over at www.shiranimpathak.com/connect.
Originally published at https://www.therapywithshirani.com on November 6, 2021.
Shirani M. Pathak is an author, speaker, relationship therapist, consultant, and healer. Her work supports people and organizations in illuminating and dismantling the internalized oppression from supremacy culture so that they can experience authentic connection, authentic communication, and authentic relationships. Join her newsletter for weekly insights, podcast episodes, and other resources at www.shiranimpathak.com/connect.
